lift

I just had an amazing two hour long phone chat with my bestie. Yep, two hours. But it felt like 15 minutes. Even with my red wine headache from last night’s antics, (is three bottles between two people too many?) I loved spending my morning talking away an impending hangover. I was also 100% flaked on my couch so that certainly helped ease my head. If we lived in the same state then we’d be chatting IRL but, alas, she’s still in chilly Melbourne.

We chatted about all sorts of things… general life catch up, my recent therapy session, her recent difficult conversations with an old friend… and then we talked about anxiety, panic attacks, babies… so much. After that we then exchanged our recent creative achievements which was beautiful. She shared with me a song that she had written and recorded with her band and, past my tears, my heart swelled with pride for her! I was literally speechless, not because it was a surprise to me that she is talented (she’s been singing for years and her band’s latest album is awesome, check out my favourite track from the album here) but because I wasn’t expecting to feel so emotional over it. I’m listening to it again right now but I’m not crying, I swear… ok, I’m crying.

She wrote a song, pitched it to her band and they recorded it. Something she didn’t think she could do. Or that the band would like. It makes me so bloody happy that she took that step and said hey I’ve written some stuff, what do you think? Cos it’s fucking hard to do that. Anyone out there who creates something, whatever it may be, knows how hard it is to push your own work. And do you know what’s really nice? Telling someone what they have made is amazing. Hearing their genuine happiness that you liked something they made. Not everything that people make will be liked by everyone. And that’s fine. If the song was shit I would have told her and burnt my ears off. KIDDING! Of course I wouldn’t say or do that. Because I’m not an asshole. But I would still tell her it’s great and how amazing I think she is for putting herself out there.

The pride you have when someone close to you creates something is such an amazing feeling. You’re like “I know that person! Lookit what my person is doing! I’m so happy for my person!” And I was so moved by the song and her voice, I loved how it made me feel. And it makes me feel SO HAPPY to feel like this. ALL OF THE FEELS, GUYS! It’s a fuckin feel festival over here! I wish she could have shared it with me sooner but I know she needed time… I too am guilty of not sharing not only my thoughts but my creative achievements either so I totally get it.

Anyway, lovely people, the reason for today’s post is to highlight the fact that my friend did an awesome thing and she feels amazing for sharing her soul with me. And you should encourage the people in your life to do their amazing thing. Lift them up because even if they don’t say it, they need it sometimes.

xx

I am 1 in 10

Saturday night. I was out with my family, dancing, singing, loads of laughing… having an absolute ball. It was the perfect end to a huge week of celebrations for us as I had just gotten married the week prior so we were all still on a high and loving it.

Cut to 5am the next morning.

I’m woken by excruciating pains in my lower abdomen. Pains so bad I can’t even sit up.

Ah yes. It’s just my normal period pains kicking in.

I lay there for a bit, pulling my knees into my chest and curling into a ball trying to get comfortable until I end up whimpering so much that my husband gets up and heads to the kitchen to warm up my heat pack without question. He knows this scene all too well.

From here I will stay in bed most of the day, with my heat packs in constant rotation and multiple cups of tea by my bedside. Some days the pains will catch me off guard and I can be found crouching on the kitchen floor or the bathroom tiles waiting for the pain to go before I can walk again. Yes, walking. Just standing or walking is a challenge when the pains come through. So, I just park myself where possible until it dies down for a bit and I can move back to bed before the next wave of pain hits.

***

This is standard practice when living with Endometriosis, a condition where tissue similar to the lining of the womb grows outside it into other parts of the body, resulting in painful spasms and some fertility issues amongst other things. I’m not alone with this disease as it affects 1 in 10 women and, so far, there is no known cure.

***

I’ve lived with endometriosis my entire adult life from the age of 17. Over the years, I’ve had 4 laparoscopy procedures to remove the endo – these are performed through keyhole surgery and each operation normally gives you a couple of pain-free years (if you’re lucky) before the endo grows back again. Yes. It comes back. Isn’t that a neat trick!

Endo is a condition which generally cannot be seen from the outside and it’s hard to explain to people who have never heard of it. The sceptical look on some people’s faces when you try to describe it? You can just tell they’re thinking “So… you’ve got some period pains?”

It’s more than that.

You can’t move, can’t walk, can’t focus on anything else other than trying to get rid of that pain.

Take painkillers you say? I wish. I’ve tried so many different forms and nothing works. It’s such a deep, difficult pain to feel. And to describe it… it’s like a thousand daggers just slicing through your internal organs non-stop. With fire.

In terms of ongoing medication, I was on the contraceptive pill for 17 years after being told by numerous doctors and experts that “being on the pill diminishes the pain of endo”. So of course, I stayed on the pill, thinking if my pain was this bad when I’m on the pill then surely it would be worse if I went off it. For years I struggled with monthly pains which were sometimes so bad that I couldn’t get out of bed. It was horrible.

It got to a point where my gynecologist advised me to skip my period each month and only have a period 2 – 3 times a year. I took his advice and at first the pains did go away. But soon after I was still getting pains each month even though I was skipping my periods.

***

Years ago, I started researching endo/the pill a bit more and I made the decision to go off the pill. My GP advised against it and wanted to keep me on it “just in case” but I didn’t feel right. After being on the pill for 17 years I felt like my body deserved a break. So, I stopped. And I waited for the pains.

Amazingly, the first few monthly pains reduced ever so slightly. Yes, I was now having a period every month instead of a few each year but the decreased pain levels were a win. Now that I’ve been off the pill for a couple of years, my body has gotten used to it and each period is different to the next. One will be quite painful and the next one will be not so much. This result isn’t what you normally hear but I’ve learnt that there’s not a one-size-fits-all remedy so if you’ve done your time with one thing and want to try another then go for it. It’s your body after all, you’re the one that has to live in it.

***

So why am I finally telling my #endostory? Because of the Worldwide EndoMarch campaign which aims to funds for further research and to also raise awareness of the condition.

I’m not telling my story for people to feel sorry for me. I’m not doing it to gain anything for myself. I’m doing it in case it helps just one other girl out there who is struggling and doesn’t know what to do, someone who can’t get a straight answer from a doctor, someone who just needs to know that they are not alone and there are other people they can talk to. I think it’s important for women to feel comfortable to talk about this sort of stuff. It’s very normal for most of us and that’s ok.

When you’ve got something like this that literally comes around every 4 weeks, and can take days to recover from, it can be very hard to shake it off and return to normal life without feeling down. It gets to you! Don’t forget all the other usual things that come along with having a period – mood swings, headaches, depression, fatigue – yep you still get all those bad boys on top of those debilitating pains. What a combo! So it’s ok that we feel like we’re going to explode with rage at any moment. There’s a lot of shit going on.

Endo can be hard to predict. It’s not easy to live with and it can be extremely draining on your personality but I try to stay positive and be the best version of myself when I can.

If you want more information about Endometriosis or if you wish to donate to further research into this condition, head to www.endometriosisaustralia.org

♡♡♡

Hey guys! Quick note… don’t forget that I’m no expert or medical professional but having lived with the condition going on 16 years I know what works for me. The story and advice I’ve given here is based off my own experience so make sure you chat to your doctor or medical professional when seeking advice.

Comment below and tell your story or share this post if you don’t feel comfortable sharing your own experience yet.
x

R U OK?

The R U OK? Day campaign is over for another year but that doesn’t mean you should stop asking the question. Always ask.

You don’t need a specific date to ask your mates if they are ok. Any day is a good day to ask, to talk, to be there for someone.

Check in with your peeps every now and then. Let them know they are not alone and you’re always there for them. Always.

Why? Because sometimes it’s hard for people who are struggling to get the words out to ask for help. To know that they have someone to talk to. But if they hear from a friend like you, someone that’s willing to listen, they might just let you in and help them through the dark.

If you’re on the other side, feeling down and out, the fog is getting thicker… take the offer. If someone asks R U OK?, answer them honestly. Don’t be afraid. Think about how hard it is to ask for help. It’s SO FUCKING HARD. But if you take the opportunity to answer honestly then you will slowly break down those barriers.

I still have ups and downs with my anxiety and depression all the time and some days it shows more than others. It’s a fuckin bitch of a thing, heck, I even had a moment this morning! But I’ve now got friends who ask me all the right questions and I know they will be there when I need them.

I know all too well it’s hard to get the words out and ask for help. But people won’t make you feel any less of a human if you ask to talk. They will listen and they will fill your heart with warmth.

So please, go ask your mates, family members, work colleagues, give your pet a cuddle – just let them know you’re there for them.

♥♥♥

Other services like Lifeline can help when you’re feeling at a loss. Get in touch with them here.

Role model

 

If you follow my personal Instagram account (what? You don’t? Quick, click here and get on board!) you would know that I went to see Adele on her first stop Down Under. Here’s a few words on why I left the concert on a high.


Last night I got to witness an incredible performance by the one and only Adele. And when I say incredible I mean it was actually a mind-blowing-insanely-good-heart-stopping-goosebump-inducing performance, wrapped up with an important message for everyone to take home.

Adele was my holy grail. My big catch. Listening to her songs for years now, and embracing her uniqueness, I’ve always wanted to hear that powerful voice live. And under the stars, no less (a voice like that cannot be confined indoors). I just knew she would be sensational if I ever got to see her.

My wish was granted when Adele took to the stage last night, outdoors, to wow me with songs spanning her entire career. Apparently, there was another 64,999 people there too but I didn’t notice. I was so absorbed in her performance. I sat there for most of the show with my mouth gaped open, disbelief that she was actually there in front of me.

 

As Adele rolled through the songs that made her the powerhouse she is today, it was the moments in between the songs that made it even more special for me. There’s an insight into her soul, the stories behind those massive songs and realising that she’s had huge turning points in her life, but hearing them out loud makes it real.

She was honest and told us she was nervous. It showed a vulnerable side to her which is so refreshing, making her the bravest performer most of us have ever seen. There was no big showy act to prove anything to anyone. It was amazing. It was genuine and beautiful.

She’s had the heartbreak, the shit times, the moments that tore her in two. But she talked about them. She was honest and spoke to openly about all these impacts which made her. Some did break her but she pulled herself out and made it something bigger.

Even though the stories were unexpected they were certainly welcome. Adele opened up to us like we were old friends, she wanted to bring us into her world. Her sincerity is inspiring. Her humble nature is captivating. She showed that you need to stay true to yourself and let the good things come through after the bad has ended. And I am forever in her debt for reminding me to be humble, honest and truthful to myself and stay above the rising doubt waters.

Simply remarkable.

A role model for the ages. Adele, we thank you x

 

Adele Perth 2017 www.thecuriousobserver.com

Changing it up

The Curious Observer has had a refresh!

Remember not too long ago I mentioned things would be changing after my hit of inspiration? Well, it’s all finally happening!

So what’s it all about? Two things – sharing what I love and getting to know people!

It all came from my curiosity of wanting to know more about the people behind the brands and Instagram accounts that I love. Who are they? Where do they live? What is their background? Are they a cat or a dog person? You know, all the important questions…

So, starting in May, The Curious Observer will be bringing you profiles of the people behind the brands!

I’ll be profiling people from a range of Instagram accounts and brands, big and small, so you’ll get to know all about them.

I’ll also be posting my favourite finds on Instagram so you can get to know me and what I like. I’ll be sharing things I love from accounts that inspire and entertain me.

I’m super excited to start sharing and help you discover new and amazing brands that are out there.
The first profile will be live on TCO website soon and I’ll be sharing my loves in Insta even sooner so stick around, you might discover something new.

You can check out my Insta page right here https://www.instagram.com/the.curious.observer/

keep it fresh

I just read an interesting email from the fabulous Gala Darling which made me think a little about all this blog biz. For those of you who don’t know who Gala Darling is then I suggest you hip hop it over to her site www.galadarling.com now and check out her stuff. I always love getting her email in my inbox as it’s always full of amazingly positive stories and good advice. Always seems to come right when you need it!

In Gala’s latest post she tells us how she’s been blogging for ten years now. Ten years! Think about where you were ten years ago and how much you/life has changed since then. Ten years ago I hadn’t even had any overseas adventures yet, I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life and I was in a relationship that I thought I’d be in forever. Not only that, all our social media sites that we now log into first thing each day weren’t around. So people like Gala who were blogging way back then have seen how much the scape has changed and what a difference social media really makes.

Fun fact: did you know that way back in 1994 a dude called Justin Hall from Swarthmore College started his online “personal homepage” called Links.net which is now known as the the first blog recognised in the online world. The term “blog” came from the word “weblog” which was created by Jorn Barger around 1997, used to describe the process of “logging the web”. The word was then shorted again in 1999 to “blog”,  which we all now know is a way of showing people lots of photos of your cat.

Gala has even admitted that she barely reads blogs much any more. There are a few that she gets stuck in to but that’s about it. For her it’s more about Instagram these days, which I totally agree with..  you get a better feeling for who the people are and what they like in an easy to digest format. Plus it’s such an amazing way to be quickly immersed in some beautiful photos and content alike and to then follow other similar pages/stalk people that you used to date… and then next thing you know you’re 76 weeks deep in someone’s account and you have a heart attack when you almost like one of their photos. Yeah, like that hasn’t happened to you!

So why the hell, you ask, are you bagging out blogging and praising Instagram? Well I’m not really, I just put that question in your head. All I’m saying is that we don’t need to be typing an essay of things that we love, or ranting and raving in a 7 page blog post about how the teenager at McDonald’s forgot to give you sauce with your nuggets and that the kids of today don’t know how hard it was growing up without the internet (seriously, remember when you had to research stuff at the library… from books!?) and they need a kick up the bum. People don’t want to read about that from you. They’ll get that from all those online lifestyle magazines that they follow on every social media site (but really they want to unfollow, it’s just that everyone in the office talks about the articles so they don’t want to miss out on the convo) so really you should be giving them something else to think about, something else to read.

I can’t talk! Some of my previous posts (not that there is many of them) have been long- winded and whingey. But it’s what I wanted to post at the time. I’ve had a blog on and off for about five years now. In the past it’s mainly consisted of poetry, ramblings and photos as I’ve never really known what to blog about. But now I have other ideas as to how I want this space to run. Yes I know it’s taken me a while to figure it out. But I’m the queen of procrastination. I’ve procrastinated so much so that I’ve even found out which house I would be in if I was at Hogwarts (Gryffindor BTW). Thanks Pottermore #potterhead4lyfe

Which leads me back to the questions that Gala asked herself in that email.

What do I want to write about?

How do I want this space to look?

Those questions are pretty important and hard to answer if you don’t really have any idea.

I want to write about people, things that are happening, thing you should do, places you should go, things that I like and that you should be checking out too cos clearly if I like it then it’s awesome. And if you don’t like my suggestions then that’s fine, I can point you in the direction of the unfollow button.

But if you want to stick around and see what I’ve got coming up then I’m glad to have you.

xx

New Year, Same Same but Different

SIX PEOPLE YOU WILL FIND IN YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA FEED OVER THE HOLIDAY PERIOD

Go on, admit it. The new year is coming and you have this fuzzy feeling all over you of how things are going to change and be different come the 1st January. It happens every year. You get all “yeah! I’m going to quit my job, go work with orphans in the third world and make a difference next year!” or “OMG yesss it’s a NEW ME next year, guys! I’m going to be fitter and greener and let my armpit hair grow out so everyone will know I’m a hippie now”.

Yep, it’s guaranteed to hit you at some point which means it’s hitting your friends and people you follow on social media right now too. So what can you expect over the next few days?

Number 1: The “New Year New Me” dingbat

Can’t begin to explain how many of these people are going to be in your face on New Year’s Day. Ugh you just wait… there’ll be the predictable girl banging on about how she’s not going to get caught up in all the social bitchiness next year or the one who is going to make a complete transformation in the first week so you’ll see loads of snaps of them at the gym with a face full of make-up (and no sweat?) #fitspiration #toteslovemynewyearbod

Ooooh what about the one who’s going to sign up for every creative course under the sun and going to start an online store selling shoes for caterpillars or something ridiculous. Not saying people can’t change or want to better themselves but you are still you and the clock ticking over at midnight doesn’t automatically mean you can change overnight. It takes time to become Mother Teresa, I should know. Go ahead and do your course, let me know when you’re proficient in ice sculpting.

Number 2: The Inspirational Quote fiend

This is a big one. There’s going to be stacks of these bitches flying around. You’re gonna be so damn inspired by them that you’re goingto want to go out, buy a journal and get all arty farty and write down all your hopes and dreams for the new year. You’re going to want to set goals and be ambitious and be all like “yeah! I CAN have my dream job and still afford to pay my mortgage”. This is a trap. Be realistic, people. You can’t go and work with monkeys in the jungle and still take part in the high life (unless, of course, you’re a multi-millionaire who doesn’t have to work, then heck yes! Go forth to the jungle and buy me a monkey!) Just sit tight and soon you’ll see through all the inspiration fog and realise that it’s just the smoke from your car bombing out on the side of the road again #reallifecalling.

Number 3: The “I’m seriously getting my shit together this year” 23 year-old

You know the one? The girl who’s barely out of training wheels and is all like “OMG guys I just really need to sort my life out. I can’t believe I’m not the CEO of a company yet. How can this be possible?! MY LIFE IS AWFUL!”. The one who thinks they’re going to have the career and the husband and the babies by the time they’re 25. Kudos to you for being a go-getter but honey, life doesn’t always work out like that. Just chill the fuck out, go do some shots and travel the world. Life is fun and unpredictable.

Number 4: The New-Age Hippie who is all of a sudden vegetarian and just can’t even deal with cows

How can you even think about eating meat in 2016, you monster! Followed by pictures of cute little pigs or lambs frolicking in the fields. If you don’t have one of these people in your group of friends/social media feed yet, then I highly recommend finding one purely for amusement. It’s fun to see them get worked up over hippie stuff like benefits of home made deodorant or what needs saving more: the whales or John Butler’s band. Each to their own, everyone has their right to be who they want to be. But the change in persona can happen without notice so be prepared and make sure you have a compliments ready for their new tie dyed outfits along with a joint sparked to enhance the experience.

Number 5: The “I’m going to make every day count” life cheerleader

This person is one to keep at arms-length. You don’t want to rain on their parade nor do you want to encourage a barrage of over-enthusiastic posts. They are known for over posting and are just so excited for LIFE and will quite happily tell you everything about their day, including multiple meal posts, outfit choosing and even a jaunty trip to the toilet. A cheerleader can turn on you in an instance so my advice would be to play your cards right and only like every third post they put up. Any more than that and you’ll be encouraging even more detailed bathroom visits.

Number 6: The “my life this year was just plain awful… so watch me kill it next year!!!” warrior

These people are going to put those posts up about how much went wrong this year and how next year is going to be super awesome. Yay for you being all #positive. Newsflash to these people: your life isn’t awful. It really isn’t. Sure we all have bad days where things don’t work out or people piss us off or your cat just won’t stop vomiting on your favourite cushion but hey, life isn’t that bad. It’s not all meant to be smooth sailing. And I don’t even like sailing. So you had a few bad days, meh it’s alright, you’ll get through it princess.

Just remember that there’s always someone out there that’s wishing they had half the things you do. If you’ve got a roof over your head, daily meals, a job (which allows you to pay for the device that you are currently using to post on social media), family and your health then I reckon your year wasn’t so bad. Of course you must take the time to relive the year that was and try to not make the same shitty mistakes like dating dickheads again any time soon, but also be grateful that you have what a lot of people don’t have.

And maybe think about making a difference to someone else’s life next year and make their year their best ever.

#bringon2016

NB: This post is written in good natured fun. No animals were harmed in making this post except for my cat who got a few scolding’s for sitting on my keyboard whilst I was trying to type. If you find anything offensive or in poor taste, nor do you think my sense of humour is entertaining, then maybe you shouldn’t be reading my blog.

When will you cut out the bad vibes?

Last year I did something I never thought I’d do. I cut a friend out of my life. It was one of the hardest yet easiest things I’ve ever had to do. But it was worth it.

That may sound a little harsh, but when a relationship gets to a point where you aren’t getting anything positive from it, then it’s time to rethink why you are involved in something that brings you down. I let go of this person who was wasn’t being a good friend to me for the past few years. It was one of those relationships that had been around for fifteen years and it just felt normal to have them in my life as it had been there for so long.

We were very close in our teenage years. We both were going through family issues at the same time so we bonded quite quickly and soon we were inseparable. It was one of those friendships that was just meant to be and it came at the right time. Over the years we were there for each other during many important life moments… boyfriends, breakups, matching tattoos and even a baby. We only had a couple of fights over the years, mainly because I am very much a non-confrontational person so I would never speak my mind. But in the last few years, our own personal values changed and I started to see things in a different light.

I realised that it is ok to do this. Just because a person has been in your life for so long doesn’t mean they are always meant to be there. People change and YOU change every single day in your life.

So why is it so goddamn hard to get rid of the bad vibes?

Because it feels unnatural to do something where you are coming across as the bad guy.

It’s not easy, but if there is someone in your life that is dragging you down, and you feel as though you don’t benefit from having them around, then you need to take control and cut the ties.

Do you feel as though they don’t listen to you? Cut them out.

Do you feel drained after being with this person? Stop seeing them.

Do you think you will be in a better place mentally if you didn’t talk to this person again? For fucks sake just do it already.

Yes, I know it’s easier said than done. But you will feel so much better for it. I hate to sound so cliché but that massive weight that has been on your shoulders will lift and you will feel amazing. I know I did. I was suddenly free of a one-way relationship that drained all the goodness out of me and I didn’t even think twice about it after it was done.

Value yourself as a human being and take control of your happiness. You don’t need other people’s negativity clouding your spirit.

Now excuse me whilst I go and get that matching tattoo covered up.

Not completely off the wagon

So, I cracked it. For some reason, there was a brain snap and I was suddenly in Coles, bottom lip out trying to not put the box of Guylian chocolates into the shopping basket. It wasn’t pretty.

Not sure why this happened. Week 2 started off pretty positive. I did a big food shop at the beginning of the week so I was all sorted for my meals. I had done a workout each day as per Michelle’s instructions. Heck, even the scales were nice to me and told me I’m down a bit again (yew!) But Thursday night it went a bit pear shaped and threw me off.

That night, I decided to go shopping for new sports-wear. Actually, to be specific I wanted to buy a crop-top. Now, this doesn’t seem like a big deal to most people, but for someone who has a fuller bust size (read: bazooka-level)  this is a huge deal. For me I’ve always worn a sensible sports bra that could double as a slingshot. I’ve never considered anything else. So crop-top shopping was on my agenda and WOWEE can I just say that these are the most comfortable darn things ever! For someone that cannot go without a bra for fear of blowin in the wind, this feels like the next best thing! So awesomely comfortable, I’m just bummed I didn’t get into this shit ages ago.

With my new life-changing purchases secured, I came home quite late on Thursday night to find the chicken in my fridge not looking very good, so there goes dinner for the night. I ended up with a mish-mash meal of peanut butter toast, a cup of tea and a couple of sneaky Cacao Fudge Bites (they are 12WBT friendly peeps, I swear!)   Also, as it was late there was no chance of making the patties that I needed for my lunch the next day so I knew I was going to be in trouble come lunch time tomorrow. Don’t judge me readers!! All I wanted was a good stretch, watch a few eps of Friends (so what? I’m reliving the goodness!) and to fall asleep by eleven pm is that so bad?!

Friday, now that I think about it, wasn’t going to end well seeing as it started off with me sleeping past my alarm, getting to work late and then dropping my yoghurt on the floor next to my desk.Yes, clearly I was on a roll. After a productive day in and out of the office (read: lunchtime shopping trip) I was home to do my Friday workout before the man got home and we could go to the shops for dinner ingredients.

Cue the Coles trip that could’ve lost me a boyfriend. I was already a bit cranky as I was hungry due to the lack of snacks I took to work that day (oh and in case you were wondering I had a Nandos wrap for lunch… It was a healthy one but I accidentally/on-purpose added cheese, so shoot me!)  As we walked the aisles, I stopped at the popcorn to pick up a bag thinking it would cure my craving for something naughty. Nope, put it back. What about a bag of.. nope put that back too. But when I saw the sweet little six pack of Guylian seashell chocolates… dear Lord, that poor man of mine almost bolted.

I’ve probably blown my chances of ever having children with him as he now knows what it’s like to have a child in the supermarket wanting something so badly that they’re  willing to stomp their feet for it. I wanted it!! I even checked how many calories it would cost me if I smashed the whole six (a mere 354 for those of you playing along at home) So in the basket it went. And then I took it out again. I held it in my hand, scrunched up my nose and looked at my boyfriend for his reaction. He’s a smart man though, told me to have it if I really wanted it. I’m sure he wanted to scream at me JUST EAT THEM YOU SILLY COW!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE IN A CRAP MOOD ALL NIGHT!! JUST EAT THEM!! If he had said no don’t do it then I probably would’ve taken it. But I didn’t. Me, of all people, put the beautiful little chocolates back on the shelf, sulked away and went home to have a yummy healthy meal.

I wish I could tell you that the moment I put that box back on the shelf was a proud and defining moment of this challenge. But no sorry, I can’t do that. I’m just a big baby.

So I haven’t fallen completely off the wagon. I’ve managed to cling on for dear life and sit back on it, though quite close to the edge. The next few weeks are going to get even harder with the silly season approaching so it’s going to be very interesting indeed.

But when this whole thing is over, bitch, those chocolates are mine.

Hiccups

I recently started on the Michelle Bridge 12 Week Body Transformation bandwagon and let’s just say.. it’s been an interesting ride.. and it’s only early days!!

Only four days into the challenge and already there has been a few hiccups. It’s been interesting to see how I handle these interruptions as I generally get cranky quite easily and once I crack the shits I tend to stay in a mood for quite some time. But, surprisingly, I’ve been pleasantly upbeat about it all.

Day 2 ended with me staying back at work longer than intended, so my first problem there was I missed my gym class. Secondly, I had a fight with my mum so I was a bit fired up and very cranky. Not really in the mood to workout! Third hiccup was that I hadn’t done my shopping for dinner that night so I was disappointed in myself for not being organised.

Luckily I have an amazing boyfriend who is super awesome and went to Coles for me (with the 12WBT recipe in hand) and got all the ingredients I needed for dinner that night. What a spunk! Hmm still need to pay out my reward for that good deed..  With the man off gathering food, I decided to put my fight with mum on hold and smash a home workout from the program. And I felt SO much better for doing it! I’m glad I did it, will remember that next time I’m not wanting to work out! And yes don’t worry, mother and I made up, we are such drama queens.

Day 3 hiccup consisted of the family dinner. Yup, only the beginning of the program and already having to make better meal choices when out for dinner. I’M NOT READY FOR THIS YET, PEOPLE!! And where do we go for dinner? The scrumptious il Pasto where they have all delightful meals full of meat, pasta and ohhh cheese! Being half Italian I must say I am a pasta freak. I love it. Unfortunately my ass does not.. so, to play along with the program, I had to rethink my choices.

And I will tell you now, it was torture. Never have I EVER been to an Italian restaurant and ordered something other than pasta, pizza or cotoletta. When the waiter came to ask me what I wanted, I very quickly closed my eyes and pointed to the grilled fish. FISH?! PESCHE? Ugh I was miserable. Did I want any salad? NO I do not want the salad you moron I want the biggest bowl of pasta you can find!! That’s what I really wanted to say…  And as the meals came out I squirmed in my seat and just stared at my dish. It was all I could do to stop myself from tackling my man out of his chair to steal his deliciously looking bowl of ragu. I will admit, I did sneak a mouse size nibble of his pasta to satisfy me and GAWD it was delish. And the fish was a bit of alright too. Definitely check this place out if you’re in the Inglewood hood peeps!

All said and done, I am super proud of myself for sticking to my guns and having the healthier option. It goes to show that even someone like me (who is soooo easily persuaded to eat all the bad stuff) is able to find the willpower inside and push through.

Let’s hope I can make it through another week without stabbing someone for a piece of chocolate..